简爱 Jane95 - Chapter 23 My Past Returns

　　简爱 Jane 95

　　PART FOUR - LIFE AT MOOR HOUSE

　　CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

　　My Past Returns

　　"I'll ask you again in a few days. Remember it's not me you are saying ‘no’ to--it's God! You are disobeying God!"

　　I turned to face him. "St. John Rivers, you must make sure that you're not confusing what God wants, with what you want!" Later, I could not believe I had said this to him.

　　He was very angry with me, and for the next week he was as cold as ice to me. This hurt me very much. I was sorry I had hurt him, but I began to see that, if I were his wife, he would kill my spirit and not feel bad about it at all. When he asked me to marry him again, however, he was very gentle and kind. We were alone in the sitting room, and he spoke to me quietly in his deep voice. "Remember, Jane. God wants us to do what is right. He asks us to work for him, and the people who do will go to heaven. Please say you will marry me!"

　　I admired and respected St. John, and suddenly I almost wanted to agree. He gently held my hand, and I knew that it would not be a bad life in India. Maybe God was telling me to go, and I truly wanted to do what was right.